we're blogging at a bar
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.