I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.