you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.