do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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