I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
is wine microwaveable?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
