i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize