You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
