he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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