Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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