Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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