All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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