How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
