UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
