i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize