so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
