sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
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So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
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Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
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