Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
