i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
