i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
