gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
