Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
