Dual....:-)
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
