It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
