im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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