Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!

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(810): i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck! http://tfl.nu/jvh5

Replies (8) Good night (2232) Bad night (4845)
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(512): View more from Texas

3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear

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(512) 3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear http://tfl.nu/ahne

Replies (4) Good night (1636) Bad night (2227)
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(713): View more from Texas

maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..

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(713): maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all.. http://tfl.nu/ph0g

Replies (9) Good night (704) Bad night (3217)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.

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(717): can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill. http://tfl.nu/zd59

Replies (18) Good night (1181) Bad night (5115)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.

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(717): please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are. http://tfl.nu/a3si

Replies (10) Good night (1408) Bad night (3802)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.

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(306): When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again. http://tfl.nu/vfit

Replies (5) Good night (4423) Bad night (1356)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless

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(763): someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless http://tfl.nu/hdeq

Replies (10) Good night (4675) Bad night (1046)
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(516): View more from New York

Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice

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(516): Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice http://tfl.nu/slww

Replies (24) Good night (7259) Bad night (1592)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.

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(503): I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan. http://tfl.nu/4npq

Replies (12) Good night (3395) Bad night (1902)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.

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(803): That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose. http://tfl.nu/x4y6

Replies (7) Good night (1089) Bad night (1705)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.

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(803): My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband. http://tfl.nu/w0zf

Replies (5) Good night (2065) Bad night (778)
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(314): View more from Missouri

How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.

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(314): How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night. http://tfl.nu/t7tp

Replies (5) Good night (707) Bad night (994)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.

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(256): Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool. http://tfl.nu/26ob

Replies (4) Good night (310) Bad night (808)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

see that vagina ? that vagina means business

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(931): see that vagina ? that vagina means business http://tfl.nu/d7zl

Replies (4) Good night (607) Bad night (302)
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(740): View more from Ohio

I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.

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(740): I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes. http://tfl.nu/v5b0

Replies (4) Good night (857) Bad night (458)

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