we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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