At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Don't tell me you're on acid again