Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil