Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(765): View more from Indiana

laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?

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(512): View more from Texas

I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(443): View more from Maryland

He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.

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(731): View more from Tennessee

He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....

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(387): View more from

The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?

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(720): View more from Colorado

side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?

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(269): View more from Michigan

The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.

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