I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.