I just pynch a tree in the face
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
