4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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