omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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