how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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