We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You can't just leave with hair like that
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
