Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
