I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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