The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
