It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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