Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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