My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So much Jack, so little girl.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
