I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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