Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
