he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
