Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
if i died would you start the facebook group?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
