I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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