After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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