I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize