Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
