Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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