I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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