I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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