Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
