i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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