Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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