I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize