she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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