I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
