I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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