Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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