Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize