ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
