So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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