just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
