yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
