some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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