your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
