Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
