what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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