it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
