Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Randomize
