I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
