I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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