Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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