So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
